is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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