i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
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Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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