Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
