I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My vagina is officially offended.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
not ubering you a puppy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
