Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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