My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love you. Go after that dick
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