Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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