Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't deserve a penis
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
