in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Boobs speak an international language.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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