I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
