We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We are all done wearing pants today
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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