I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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