Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.