have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize