just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.