Whod you bang
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
