That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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