I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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