too bad you live with your parents still
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
