I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
