When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
