I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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