i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
