Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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