therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
