Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize