I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize