White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize