oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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