Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
