If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
