dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
