im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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