My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
