I can't breathe out the right side of my face
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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