I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
