You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
