**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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