Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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