apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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