I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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