but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
