the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
