Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
