You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
how does that bad decision feel?
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