It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
