My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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