Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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