In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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