Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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