She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
