so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
