I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
