I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
