Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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