Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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