and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
