Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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