Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
